Expositions of a Straw Hat Crew
by Lennee
Summary: Welcome to the pirate's life. Who said it was never fun and games on board the pirate ship? A series of brief expositions concerning a certain One Piece crew of vagabonds and miscreants.
1. Poke

**Expositions of the Straw-Hat Crew**

**Summary:** Whoever said the pirate's life was never fun and games? A series of brief expositions concerning a certain One Piece crew of vagabonds and miscreants.

**Dedicated to:** Shiru-chan

**Disclaimer:** Maybe in an alternate dimension where everything I love is mine, but not here. I don't own One Piece.

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**Exposition 1: Poke**

Zoro lay in the sun on his hammock, gently swaying with the mild breezes that rocked his current berth. It was a fine day. But of course, a fine day in Zoro's opinion included Sanji yelling in pain, sleep, Sanji being chased by Nami with a sharp quill aimed at his nether regions, nice weather, and Sanji screaming bloody murder as he pulled said sharp quill out of his nether regions. This scenario of course, did not include the danger that was slowly making its way towards Zoro's face.

**Poke**

Something had poked Zoro on his right cheek. Zoro grunted and rolled over, facing the other direction. However, in this position, he couldn't clearly hear what Nami was screaming, something about setting traps around her undergarment drawer.

**Poke**

Something poked Zoro again, this time on the left cheek. Zoro sighed and rolled onto his stomach, covering his head with his arms. Now he really couldn't hear what Nami was saying. Pity.

**Poke** **Poke** **Poke** **Poke** **Poke** **Poke ****Poke** **Poke** **Poke**

Something repeatedly poked Zoro on his back. Zoro snapped, "BLOODY HELL! WHAT IS GOING ON? STOP IT THIS INSTANCE DAMNIT!"

He whipped out his swords, prepared to attack whomever was doing the damn poking.

No one was there.

Zoro's eye twitched, he lay back down on his back, eyes glancing left and right trying to spot the idiot who didn't know when to let him get some rest.

**Poke**

The target this time was the top of his head. Zoro whipped around, but no one was there.

**Poke**

Zoro jumped. An extra hard prod had found his stomach. He turned around just in time to see a long finger retreat into the air.

Zoro's eye twitched again and he looked up to see Luffy's grinning face looking down from the crow's nest. Luffy waved, and then doubled over in laughter when Zoro glared… hard. Zoro could also hear the unrestrained guffaws that belonged to Usopp and the diminutive chuckled of Chopper.

_Great, the Three Stooges strike again._

Zoro threw a wrench lying on the ground conveniently close at hand up to the crow's nest and listened contentedly as he heard two distinctive bangs. Apparently, Chopper was too short for the wrench to make contact.

Zoro heard Usopp's howl of agony, Luffy's redoubled laughter, and Chopper's shouts for a doctor.

He laid back down and slowly drifted to sleep, lulled by the "music" playing all around him. Just another normal day on Going Merry.

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A/N Review! Pretty please with a Jolly Roger flag on top. Constructive Criticism and Compliments would be appreciated.


	2. Undergarments

**Exposition 2: Undergarments**

Sanji sat on the floor of his kitchen, staring into the oven at his baking cinnamon rolls.

5…4…3…2…1… DING.

With practiced ease, Sanji opened the oven door and took out the rolls, sampling one in the process. Sanji congratulated himself. It was perfect, the bread was light and fluffy and the added cinnamon and honey gave the rolls their sweet taste, but not too sweet, of course. Sanji chortled, Nami and Robin would be so pleased that they would thank him and hug him and… Sanji melted into a puddle of goo on the ground. Then sprang up in a business-like matter.

Separating all the rolls onto two separate plates, which he balanced them along one arm, and picking up the already-made strawberry smoothies with whipped cream and a cherry, Sanji waltzed off to give Robin and Nami their mid-afternoon snack.

Kicking Nami's door open, Sanji danced in, "Nami-san, the cinnamon rolls that are fit only for you, the queen of my heart, are ready to be tasted by your divine self."

Opening his eyes, Sanji realized that no one was there. His back slumped as he slowly walked towards her desk and placed the snack next to the map of Skypiea that Nami had been working on for the past two weeks. He would be unable to experience the joy that would have been his had Nami been present in her room.

He turned around to head towards Robin's room when he noticed something in the corner of his eye.

Something lacy was poking out of a drawer to his right.

Sanji's face developed a red shade and his eyes turned dreamy as he crept towards said drawer and looked inside.

_PANTIES FROM HEAVEN!_

He sighed longingly; they were all different colors, all different varying degrees of skimpiness and laciness. How Sanji wished he could have one.

… _have one_

Sanji's face suddenly split into a wide grin, surely Nami would never notice. And if she did, she could hardly blame him. She would be flattered. She would come to his room and thank him for thinking so highly of her, hug him, and… Sanji melted into another pile of goo. He sprang up again and searched through the drawer till he found the perfect one, a white lacy one, with such a virgin color.

Stuffing the panty in his pocket, he turned towards the door… and came face to face with a red-faced Nami, who had obviously noticed her open drawer.

Slowly, Nami walked towards Sanji, a wide smile on her face that meant so many different kinds of pain, "Sanji-kun, what are you doing in my room? And, WHY IS MY UNDERGARMENT DRAWER OPEN!" She grabbed the nearest missile, a sharp quill and threw it at Sanji who ducked, screamed, and ran.

Nami chased him down the halls and threw another quill. This time, she didn't miss.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Sanji screamed, a high-pitched sound not unlike that of a dying goose.

He ran to his room and slammed the door behind him.

Swiftly, he pulled the missile out of his posterior and winced in pain. Then, he listened for sounds of continued pursuit. Luckily for Sanji, Nami seemed to think that shooting a quill at Sanji's nether regions was a good enough punishment.

Sanji slowly sank down to the floor, and then got up quickly as he posterior touched the wood floor. He got up and laid face down on his stomach on his bed.

Then a sudden thought came to him. He hurriedly reached into his pocket and pulled out the filched piece of clothing.

He stared at it, a goofy expression on his face. This was worth any amount of pain. Sanji turned over, winced, and flipped back over to his stomach. Well, maybe the stolen item AND Nami's beautiful enraged face equaled the pain.

He reverently placed the panty under his pillow.

Sanji touched the spot where the missile had hit. There was a hole and a long tear that would have to be mended before the shit swordsman figured out what happened. Sanji could definitely bully Usopp into stitching it up for him. He sighed, it was hard to come across such fine silk in the middle of the ocean. He would have to wear shoes with a tack on the end the stem Usopp's questions that would surely come, but it wouldn't really be that much trouble.

Sanji slowly drifted to sleep, deciding to make dinner when Nami wasn't quite so mad at him… and when his rear end stopped aching.

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A/N Review. Pretty Please with...err...Sanji on top. Constructive Criticismand Compliments are invited. 


	3. Influenza

**Exposition 3: Influenza**

**This Exposition is inspired by my recent visit to the doctor's office where I got four damn shots cause I miss like a million years of visits. My shoulders hurt like no man's business.

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**

"Influ- what?" Luffy asked, his head tilted to one side. One could almost see the multitude of question marks floating above him.

"Influenza," Chopper repeated.

"Too many syllables, what is it?" Luffy said with a huge grin.

Chopper sighed, "An acute contagious viral infection characterized by inflammation of the respiratory tract and by fever, chills, muscular pain, and prostration."

"Prostration? What's that?" Luffy asked again.

"The act of prostrating oneself," Zoro growled at him, then asked Chopper, "So what's that occasion of wanting to stick needles full of some weird disease into us? Kind of out of the blue, huh?"

Chopper sighed again, no one appreciated him, and said, "It's a **vaccine**, Zoro,a preparation of a weakened or killed pathogen, such as a bacterium or virus, or of a portion of the pathogen's structure that upon administration stimulates antibody production or cellular immunity against the pathogen but is incapable of causing severe infection."

Now, one could almost see the multitude of questions marks drifting above the heads of the entire crew.

Except Robin, who said, "But Doctor-san, is there really danger of influenza at this current point in time?"

Chopper puffed up, "On the contrary, there is always a danger of this disease. As we're heading to a winter island like Nami said, we must prepare."

Turning on his heel, he marched into his room and brought out a steel case, opened it, and took out a needle. "So, who's first?"

At the sight of the needle, Usopp fainted, Nami winced, and Luffy cried, "OOOH, OOOH, can I touch it, can I play with it, is it sharp, let me see?" Zoro quickly pulled him back as he tried to lunge for it.

"Thank you for volunteering Luffy," Chopper said enthusiastically, "Now, stick out your left arm."

Luffy obeyed, wriggling with excitement.

Chopper applied antiseptic and readied the needle.

Luffy grinned hugely, "Did you do it? Can I play with it now?"

Chopper didn't answer. His first attempt didn't quite make it. It had simply bounced off Luffy's rubber skin.

Chopper sweatdropped, "Umm, almost Luffy, just hold on a sec." He tried again, with a little more force, but… it still bounced off.

Chopper transformed into Mandeer (As I so named him) and shoved the needle in with all his might.

The moment Luffy felt the needle pierce, his eyes widened like saucers.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW"

He jumped up and started to run around, screaming at the top of his lungs.

"IT HURTS! IT HURTS! YOU DIDN'T TELL ME IT WOULD HURT THIS MUCH CHOPPER! OWW! ZORO, SANJI, HELP ME. I'M DYING!"

Zoro and Sanji watched, "Geez, you'd think that someone who was dried up, beaten up, sliced apart, and suffered all different sorts of deaths could stand a little vaccine."

When Luffy had finally calmed down, Chopper picked another volunteer for the vaccine. He was enjoying his position of power. He chose the bravest member of the crew, the strongest, and the one that had done the bravest deeds in the entire world… Usopp.

Ussop was dragged forward, screaming and crying, by a grinning Sanji.

Chopper readied the needle, "Don't worry Usopp. This won't hurt nearly as much as the time you stood up to that man-eating poisonous toad with huge crushing shark teeth. It's not like that time swam through a river full of ravenous guppies that could excrete twenty-thousand different poisons into your body with one nibble."

Usopp whimpered and thought, "_I really wish I had kept the tales of Great Captain Usopp on the down low."_

He saw the needle coming, and screamed, before the needle had even touched him. Chopper stared and tried again. Again, a scream came before the needle was even near Usopp's shoulder. Sanji and Zoro looked at each other and grinned. They took a needle each and came towards Usopp.Each made as if to stab Usopp, but stopped a centimeter before the needle came in contact. Usopp eventually stopped going on and off with his screams and just started screaming non-stop.

Chopper, Robin, and Nami sweatdropped, watching all the fun Zoro and Sanji were having.

Chopper then cleared his throat and administered the shots to the two girls without any commotion at all.

Robin, Nami, and Chopper each pulled a man out of the scuffle that had ensued. Robin held Usopp tightly with all her arms as Chopper stuck the needle into his shoulder. Usopp had fainted long ago, so there really wasn't any problem.

Zoro and Sanji had agreed on having a contest of "Who can stand the longest with a needle full of a virus sticking out of their shoulders". However, Chopper, in all his newfound, doctoral glory would not allow it. Everybody went off happily ever after for the rest of the day. Everybody except Luffy… and Usopp… and Zoro and Sanji.

It was at dinner when the question was asked, "Chopper. Aren't you going to get a shot too?"

…

…

…

Madness.

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A/N- REVIEW. Yeah, I have really no idea how influenza occurs and was too lazy to look it up. But just assume that in One Piece world, you can get it only in winter country. And yes, I hate Usopp, and his nose, but mainly just Usopp. 


	4. Dumb Luck

**New FORMAT! From now on, everything will be like this.**

**Inspiration: **blah blah blah

**Main Characters: **blah blah blah

**Length: **blah blah blah

**Pairings: **blah blah blah

**Also, my future plan for this story is nonexistent. Whenever some random idea pops into my head, I'll make the One Piece characters do something weird with it. **

**Oh yeah, and sorry for the late update. The event happened on the weekend but because my computer was being upgraded to fit the number of One Piece episodes I'm downloading (It was already near full) and because was really mean and wouldn't let me sign in for quite a while. Anyways, enough with the excuses. Enjoy!

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**

**Exposition 4: Dumb Luck**

**Inspiration**: My neighborhood had this betting tournament thingie for tennis. There were foreordained (That's an awesome word) teams and people would bet on who they thought would win.

**Main Characters**: Sanji, Zoro, and Luffy

**Length**: 546 words

**Pairings: None**

"THE BLACK ONE! THE BLACK ONE!" Luffy yelled, jumping up and down, "400 belis on the black one."

Sanji, Zoro, and Luffy had somehow mysteriously wound up at a horseracing track on one of the islands they had stopped on for supplies. Luffy had immediately stated his bet on a black stallion that looked like it was ready to die right there.

"Idiot," Zoro muttered, "Why would you choose a horse that should have been sent to the butchers years ago?"

Luffy blinked, "Cause it's BLACK!"

Zoro sighed and said, "Twenty-five belis on number five, the chestnut stallion."

Sanji said, "Why go so low? Are you afraid of the risk? I'll put thirty on number four, the piebald."

Zoro glared, "Fifty on the chestnut."

Sanji glared back, "Sixty"

"Seventy"

"Eighty"

"OOH, OOH, FIVE HUNDRED ON THE BLACK ONE!"

"Eighty-five"

"Ninety"

"Ninety-five"

"Ninety-six"

"SIX-HUNDRED ON THE BLACK ONE"

"Ninety-seven"

"Ninety-eight"

"Ninety-nine"

**Gunshot**

"OOH, OOH, LOOK, IT'S STARTING. IT'S STARTING."

Zoro and Sanji whipped around (Both at 100 belis for their respective choices) and saw that the race had indeed started.

The commentator began speaking, "AND it's number four and number five in the lead at the first turn. They are really ripping down the track. Remember ladies and gentlemen, the race consists of four laps around a 400 m course. Four and Five are still in the lead. It seems the underdog of the race, number eight, is not turning out a very good performance."

Zoro and Sanji looked at Luffy, who looked so excited that one could never guess that it was likely he would be losing six hundred belis today.

"Four is inching ahead of Five as we come down to the second lap of the race. Four is in the lead, Five is lagging behind."

Sanji smirked at Zoro. Zoro fumed and pulled out his swords. Sanji dropped his cigarette and snuffed it out with the heel of his shoe and stood up.

Luffy was oblivious to World War 3 that was ensuing behind him.

"I DON'T BELIEVE IT FOLKS. ON THE FINAL LAP OF THE RACE, IT SEEMS NUMBER EIGHT, THE UNDERDOG OF THE RACE, THE BLACK STALLION IS PULLING AHEAD AND GAINING ON THE TWO LEADERS. IT SEEMS TO BE A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT HORSE, COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. IT'S REALLY TEARING DOWN THE TRACK. TWO METERS AWAY, ONE METER AWAY. THE FINISH LINE IS IN SIGHT. OH MY GOSH I'M GOING TO WET MY PANTS. AND… NUMBER EIGHT, NUMBER EIGHT IS THE WINNER."

Upon hearing this, Sanji and Zoro stopped fighting and stood up, gaping at the scoreboard, which showed a large picture of the emaciated black stallion.

Luffy was jumping up and down, "I knew he would do it. I knew it. I won six-hundred belis, I'm gonna use it to buy a statue and put it on the ship and…" Luffy did a happy dance and pranced away to claim his money.

* * *

Sanji and Zoro sat side by side, both looking dejectedly at their wallets, now one hundred belis short.

Sanji moaned, "How did he win? How is it possible? That horse shouldn't have been able to MOVE. I mean, he chose it cause it was a certain COLOR."

Zoro grunted, "Dumb luck."

Dumb luck indeed Zoro and Sanji. Dumb Luck indeed.

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A/N- So, how was it? Review PLEASE with Luffy on the Number 8 horse on top. 


	5. Loneliness

**Exposition 5: Moonlight**

**Inspiration**: Dunno. This was kind of a random idea.

**Main Characters**: Zoro and Nami

**Length: **1257 words (Geez, it's long today)

**Pairings**: ZoroxNami

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She couldn't sleep. 2 o'clock in the middle of the night saw her tossing and turning.

He couldn't sleep. 2 o'clock in the middle of the night saw him on the deck, training.

3 o'clock in the middle of the night saw her walking to the kitchen to get some water.

3 o'clock in the middle of the night saw him going to get his swords from his room.

3: 05 in the middle of the night saw them nearly colliding with each other in the hall.

"DAMN! Who's there?" Zoro asked the form that was lying on top of him when they had both fallen.

"Zoro?" came Nami's voice.

Zoro flushed, realizing the position they were in and quickly pushed her off, glad that it was too dark for her to notice the blush on his cheeks.

"Nami, what are you doing? What happened to needing beauty sleep?" Zoro asked bluntly, recalling the conversation she had with Sanji earlier that… yesterday.

Nami struck a match to a candle and said, "Couldn't sleep. I was just going to get some water. You?"

Zoro grunted, "Getting my swords."

"Oh for heaven's sake, don't you EVER stop training?" Nami asked.

Zoro stared at her sudden outburst, "What's it to you? You never care about other people."

Nami looked away and said softly, "No one on this ship seems to have anytime to do anything else, anything fun. Sanji's really sweet and cooks great food, but all he does is… well cook. Usopp's always fiddling with his random inventions. Chopper's always looking up these new medicine breakthroughs. Robin's always reading. Luffy's always sitting on that **thing** and never seems to come down. And you, you're always training."

Zoro stared some more, who was this girl? "You're always into your maps," he pointed out.

"Yeah well, I just wish that, there was something to do. Even being attacked makes me feel better cause it's something different. The way it is, there's nothing to look forward to each day, no new adventures. No one to play with or talk to. There's just nothing to DO."

Zoro was seriously scared; he had no idea why Nami was telling him this. This was beyond his normal range of solvable problems. He usually dealt with things by hurting something or cursing.

He had never seen Nami like this, like a wreck of a human that just waits for something bad to happen just so something **would **happen.

He remembered something he heard Chopper telling Luffy about Nami looking a bit off color lately. Even he noticed that she wasn't eating well at meals. Sanji had been quick on the uptake, showering her with snacks throughout the day. She refused everything.

Looking at her now, in the dancing shadows created by the candlelight, he saw a ghost, a ghost of a once lively girl. A lively girl that could make everything cringe, laugh, smile, and cry at a word or an action. Zoro didn't like what he was seeing.

Zoro knew that he had some feelings for the navigator. Since the visit the Arlong Park, he had been strangely protective, saving her in every situation that Sanji could not.

Zoro suddenly realized what Nami was about to do. Her slim finger was reaching toward the candle flame.

"I wonder," Nami said dreamily, "how much it would hurt."

Panicking, Zoro leapt at her, knocking the candle aside as he landed on her.

Nami struggled to retrieve the candle, battering Zoro with her slender arms. Before Zoro knew what he was doing, he covered her mouth with his, feeling her body go slack in the process.

Nami stared at him with surprised eyes as he got up and straightened his clothes out. He looked at her, met her eyes, and looked quickly away.

"I'm going to sleep," he muttered, "and I'll take this with me." He picked up the candle and stalked off. Only to stop when he heard a choked voice behind him, "Thank you."

He turned around to see Nami, huddled on the ground, sobbing. His heart went out to the lonely girl on the ground. He walked back and leaned over her, tilting her chin up. He lightly kissed her again, and then hugged her, wrapping his strong arms around her trembling frame.

Nami sobbed into his shoulder until she drifted to sleep. Zoro sat there, comforting her, until the first rays of the sun had come up in the window outside. Then, picking her up, he dropped her in the girls' room, ignoring Robin's questioning glance. He then walked to his own room that he shared with Sanji and Luffy and fell down on his bed. Sanji was already up, probably making breakfast in the kitchen. Zoro wondered if Sanji noticed that he wasn't in his bed.

Zoro stared at the ceiling, thinking about what had transpired that night. He touched his lips, remembering Nami's. They were warm. He remembered how her body had fit perfectly into his, like a puzzle that needed one missing piece. Suddenly, he got up and left the room, heading towards Nami's room. However, along the way, he met Nami heading toward the kitchen, her usual smile on her face. She smiled at him, "Good morning, Zo-". She was cut off when he kissed her, holding her body up against his.

Robin looked at them from the eye she had planted on the other side of the kitchen wall. She smiled, wondering if she should tell Sanji about what was happening outside. She decided against it and instead opened her book. It was covered with her own writing, records of what was going on aboard her beloved ship.

_Entry 137_

_Navigator-san doesn't look very healthy these days. I suspect she's been pining over a certain green-haired swordsman. Luffy managed to fall into the sea again today…_

_Entry 138_

_The strangest thing has just happened. Swordsman-san has dropped off Navigator-san in her bed. She is currently sleeping. I wonder… _

_It all turned out for the better, Navigator-san and Swordsman-san are currently conducting their… ah relationship outside Chef-san's kitchen. I do hope that they are not found out._

It was at this point that Robin looked up to see Sanji waltzing out the door with a tray in his hand. Robin had earlier told him that Nami wasn't going to be in breakfast because she was feeling ill. She watched horrified as he opened the door and…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH! SHIT SWORDSMAN, STOP MOLESTING MY NAMI-SAN. YOU PUT HER DOWN THIS INSTANCE. GET YOUR ROTTEN TONGUE OUT OF HER MOUTH. NAMI-SAN FIGHT HIM."

CRASH! Sanji stumbled back into the kitchen, clutching his head, and moaning piteously. "My beautiful Nami-san, how could you fall for him?" Robin smiled gently and went to get Chopper.

She passed the two in the hall who had resumed their earlier activities with Sanji gone. Spotting her, they broke apart. Zoro was blushing furiously as he looked out the window. Nami had a beautiful smile on her crimson face. Robin walked past quickly and stepped out into the sun, to go look for Chopper. She left behind two people who had realized all that they needed in life, each other.

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A/N That was so terribly OOC. I'm really not good at writing romance. Fluff is ok, but stuff like that chapter. ARGH! That's probably the last one of its kind that I'll do, unless someone requests it, which I don't recommend. I feel terrible and wriggly right now. Definitely not something I like doing. Please leave constructive criticism. Thanks. 


	6. Sorry

**Exposition 6: Sorry**

**Inspiration**: A fun-filled party with my best friends.

**Main Characters**: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, and Nami

**Length**: 692 words

**Pairings**: None

* * *

It was raining. The ships at port were rocking up and down with the violent waves. There were no lights on; no one was present on any of the ships. Except, of course, the last ship on the row, the one with a straw-hat Jolly Roger. Noises came from within the main cabin.

"I'M GREEN! I'M GREEN!" Luffy yelled.

"I'll be red," Zoro and Sanji said at the same time, and then glared at each other.

"I guess I'll be yellow," Nami said, "You two CAN'T be the same color." Nami sighed. She had no idea how she got stuck with Zoro, Luffy, and Sanji, so bored out of their minds that they had to resort to playing a random board game that Luffy found underneath his bed.

Robin had gone to get supplies. She was supposed to be back an hour ago, but Nami wasn't worried, Robin probably stopped at a bookstore to get the book she had been pining for.

Chopper was taking care of Usopp in his room after one of Usopp's inventions backfired and blew up in his face.

"Zoro, you're blue," Nami ordered.

"Hell no, woman. I like red," he retorted.

"I'M GREEN! I'M GREEN!"

Nami sighed, "Sanji, you're blue."

"B-but Nami-san."

"Pweese, I like blue," Nami said sweetly, looking at him with puppy eyes.

Sanji melted, "HAI, NAMI-SAN, ANYTHING FOR YOU. Hah, swordsman, I got the color Nami-san likes better."

"… I really don't care."

"I'M GREEN! I'M GREEN!"

"WE GET IT LUFFY!"

And so the game began.

"We have to pick up a card," Nami said, looking at instructions, "Whatever number it says is how many steps we get to move. We have to get our four pieces to our respective end zones."

"I'm first," Zoro and Sanji said together, and then glared at each other again.

Nami really felt a migraine coming on, "Luffy, you're first, pick a card."

Luffy extended his arm to the pile and picked it up, "2, move out of start and pick again. That's good, right? Right?"

Everyone glared.

He moved and drew another card, "12."

Everyone glared some more.

"Ok, my turn," Nami said, ignoring Zoro and Sanji's splutters.

"1, move out of start," Nami moved and said, "Sanji, Go."

"HEY, it's MY turn," Zoro complained.

Nami slapped him and drew for Sanji, "7, you can't do anything."

Zoro laughed, "Thanks for taking that card for me stupid chef."

Sanji kicked at him, knocking the Sorry board over in the process.

"SANJI! YOU RUINED THE GAME!" Luffy shouted.

Nami rubbed her head, Zoro pulled out his swords, Luffy waved his arms around and yelled.

It was at this point that Robin came back and stared at the scene.

"ROBIN!" Nami yelled, "WHERE WERE YOU? SAVE ME!"

"I'll be in my room," Robin said quickly, dropping the supplies on the ground and pulling out a book. She walked away as quickly as she could without looking foolish by sprinting.

"Damn swordsman, you're just jealous Nami-san let me go next."

"Jealous? Why would be jealous of who that witch chooses?"

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?"

"YOU RUINED THE GAME, SANJI! I WAS WINNING."

"WHAT DID YOU CALL NAMI-SAN!"

"KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME WOMAN!"

"DON'T TOUCH NAMI-SAN!"

"DON'T YOU HIT ME!"

"I WANT TO PLAY AGAIN!"

Listening to the commotion above, Robin winced. She pulled out the earplugs she had bought from her pocket, thanking her foresight.

"DON'T YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TOUCH GIRLS?"

"I DIDN'T TOUCH HER, SHE TOUCHED ME FIRST!"

"I, CAPTAIN OF THIS SHIP, ORDER YOU TO PLAY WITH ME AGAIN!"

"EVERYBODY JUST SHUT UP!"

Everybody stopped and looked nervously at Nami. Her eyes were overshadowed and she had her staff in hand. She looked up at them, and Luffy, Sanji, and Zoro cringed. Her eyes were bloodshot. She grinned evilly and raised her staff, "Tornado Tempo."

The screams that were heard stopped the rain, stopped the waves, stopped all other conversation, hell, it stopped** time**.

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A/N- How was it? Review please. Also, this'll be the last update for this story in a long time (About a week). I'm off to music camp. Ja! 


	7. The Beginning

**Exposition 7: The Beginning**

**Inspiration**: Music Camp

**Main Characters**: All

**Length**: 161 words

**Pairings**: None

In a peaceful ramen stand, a question was asked by a fatherly voice, "Say young man, ever considered playing an instrument?"

* * *

In a rowdy bar, a question was asked by a raucous voice, "HAHAHA, BOY I LIKE YOU, TRY THIS OUT FOR SIZE!"

* * *

In a steamy spa, a question was asked by a seductive voice, "You're hot, but want to know what'll make you even hotter?"

* * *

In a bustling market, a question was asked by bargaining voice, "I'll throw this in if you'll take the necklace for forty beris."

* * *

In a quiet bookstore, a question was asked by a gentle voice, "Miss, do you have any room on your ship for this?

* * *

In an abandoned playground, a question was asked by a childish voice, "Great Captain, have you ever played the hardest instrument in the world?"

* * *

In a bright examination room, a question was asked by a foreboding voice, "And how long have you been a reindeer?"

… Wait, what?

* * *

A/N This one will probably span over 3-4 chapters. Review please. Oh, and see if you can guess who is who. And who has which instrument. Easy, right? 


	8. The First Middle

**Exposition 8: The First Middle**

**Inspiration**: Music Camp

**Main Characters**: All

**Length**: 861 words

**Pairings**: None

By the way, thank you all reviewers so far for reviewing this story (KuroKame, Serfia Kamay Moto, Earthplayer Powerstar, Nikuwadoko, OverChasm, See Saw, Anna Sparrow, gothywolfie, imjuzakyd, Invader Hog, j6girl, and Cybertoy00). Your reviews have been the top moments of each of my days. Also, Earthplayer Powerstar, while Zoro's name is Zolo in the American dubbed version of One Piece (grr them), his actual name in Japanese is Zoro. As I've only watched one episode of the terrible dubbed version, and mainly focus on the Japanese subbed version, I'll stick with Zoro. Thanks for the comment though.

* * *

"An Instrument?" Luffy asked, tilting his head to one side, contemplating the thought. His eyes lit up, "Like a stethostope? Chopper showed it to me once."

The chef stared at him, "You mean a stethoscope? That's a medical instrument, what I'm talking about is a musical instrument."

Luffy went into deep thought again, "Like, a bongo."

The chef decided he didn't want to go further into it, "Yes, like a bongo. Follow me young man."

"YIPPEEE, are we going on an adventure?"

"…No, we're just going out back."

Luffy was about to reply with something utterly ridiculous like, "Is there a jungle out back" when he saw something sitting in front of the dumpster.

"A LOT OF BONGOS." Luffy yelled, excited.

* * *

Zoro stared at the thing that the bartender had placed on the counter through blurry eyes. He slurred, "What dat?"

The bartender said proudly, "It's a trumpet. I used to play back in the old days before my school got closed down for a shooting."

He looked at it happily, "Ah, the good old days. It's still in mint condition too."

"Why you be showing meee shome shoopid inshument?" Zoro asked slowly, resting his head on the counter wearily.

* * *

Sanji stared at the woman through eyes shaped liked hearts. Stupidly, he giggled and said, "Oh yeah, how can I be any hotter?"

The woman leaned over him and tilted her head to the side, "My old boyfriend used to serenade me with an instrument. Everyone thought he was so sweet. It's manly."

Sanji giggled again, thoughts of Romeo and Juliet (Sanji and Nami) flashed through his head, "Oh yeah, a manly instrument, like the electric guitar?"

"No silly," the woman said with a smile. She left the room, motioning for him to follow. She led him to a dark room and flicked on the lights. The only contents of the room were a coffin and a case. She opened the case and showed him what lay inside.

"The saxophone is the manliest of instruments," she said with a smile, "Ask my old boyfriend." She pointed at the coffin. Sanji gulped.

* * *

"Forty beris? Make it thirty and it's a deal," Nami haggled. The salesperson looked at her, sniffed and said, "Are you trying to make me go broke? Leave my shop."

Nami smiled, knowing she was coming to a breakthrough after ten minutes of bargaining and made as if to leave. She opened the door and heard a voice behind her, "Wait, girl, what about thirty-five?"

Nami turned around, "Thirty-two."

"Thirty-four"

"Thirty-one"

"Ok, ok, thirty-two."

"Including the flute, right?"

The salesman sighed, "Yes, yes, including the flute."

* * *

Robin stared up at the librarian, a young, slightly built man. He was staring at her with hopeful eyes, pointing at the piano behind him.

Robin stared some more, looked around to see who else he could possibly be talking to, before raising an eyebrow.

The man looked down and said, "You have very nice fingers. I was wondering if you could take this off my hands. I can give it to you for free."

"Nothing in this world is free," Robin said mildly, "What's the story behind it?"

The man blushed and looked down, "That piano belonged to my grandmother. When she died, she gave it to me because I was the only in my family who would take it after… Anyways, no one will enter this library because of it, no one will take it, and I can't bear to get rid of it."

"What happened about it that caused everyone to fear it? Did it fall on someone or something?" Robin asked, returning to her book.

"My grandmother, she… was driven crazy because of it."

Robin looked up, "Oh?"

* * *

"The hardest instrument?" Usopp asked nervously.

"Yeah, my daddy said that whoever could play it gets to keep it. I'll go get it."

The boy ran off and came back with a clarinet.

"Only one person in the entire world ever played it, but he died while playing it," the boy said with a smile. As if people died by playing an instrument everyday.

"D-died," Usopp squeaked.

"Yup, but I believe you can do it. You are the greatest captain of them all," the boy said, handing the clarinet to Usopp, "Try it."

Usopp nervously wet his lips before blowing as hard as he possibly could into the instrument.

* * *

Chopper sniffed, "I've always been a reindeer. I told you, I ate a dev-"

"Yes, yes, the magical fruit thing, and I'm the uncle of a hippopotamus," said the doctor, holding the magnifying glass up to Chopper's blue nose.

"But it's TRUE!"

"Don't yell at me, young man. I'm trying to help."

"I'm not a man, mister. I'm a reindeer."

"Yes, you've told me. Address me as Uncle Hippopotamus."

"Uncle… Hippopotamus, I'm not a reindeer."

"WHO TOLD YOU TO CALL ME A HIPPOPOTAMUS?"

"Y-you did."

"Hmm, I think I've found the cure to your reindeer problems. You must play this every single day, good bye now."

The mad doctor picked up his magnifying glass, and ran out of the room.

Chopper stared at the tiny violin that lay on the bed beside him.

* * *

A/N- How was it? Review please. Thanks folks. Look for the next few chapters sometime between now and Christmas. Just kidding. REVIEW AGAIN! 


	9. The Second Middle

**Exposition 9: The Second Middle**

**Umm… hi… it's been two years. Nice to meet you all again. 'Grovels on the floor for forgiveness'**

**Inspiration**: Another Music Camp

**Main Characters**: All

**Length**: 435 words

**Pairings**: None

* * *

"ZORO! SANJI! NAMI! ROBIN! USOPP! CHOPPER! HIIII!" 

The six aforementioned beings winced. A series of crashes and bangs followed the series of name calls. Needless to say, Luffy made it onto the ship first.

Sanji was now carrying a case of books, a bag of clothes, and two cases. He was beginning to regret his offer to carry the "lovely swans" baggage.

"Oi, baggage boy, carry my stuff too."

Sanji saw, or rather, felt the extra weight as Zoro dropped his case onto Sanji's stack.

"Shit swordsman, what do you think you're doing?" Sanji nearly fell. "What the hell is in that thing anyways?"

Zoro grunted. "Secret."

Having safely made it onto the ship, which wasn't saying much as Sanji immediately threw his baggage down and attacked Zoro for dirtying the lovely ladies' items with the swordsman's dirty case, the crewmembers, excluding Sanji and Zoro who were still fighting, retreated to their respective rooms to practice their instruments with the intention of surprising the other crewmembers. What a lovely run-on.

* * *

A half-hour later, Robin peeked out of her room and sneaked off the boat towards the bookstore. 

An hour later, Usopp scurried off the boat to find a place to practice that wouldn't alert the other crewmembers. He was getting tired of pretending to be a goose every time Chopper looked in his room curiously to see why such a horrid, honking sound was being made.

An hour and a half later, Chopper told everyone that he was going to look for Usopp, but went the opposite direction, furiously trying to hide the conspicuous violin-shaped bulge in his jacket. No one noticed.

Two hours later, frustrated Sanji sauntered off. He told himself he was going to ask the lady in the spa for advice on how to play the saxophone. We all know that's not what he was really going to do.

Two and a half hours later, Nami was nearly in tears as she stormed out of her room, intent on finding the person who sold her an instrument that didn't work. She had spent the last two and a half hours blowing directly into the hole.

Three hours later, Zoro was taking a nap under a tree on the shore.

Only Luffy remained on the boat, the only one who wasn't trying to disguise his music-making from the others. Of course, the others never did liken the bangs and crashes to music, so that didn't even matter in the first place.

* * *

The next morning, the exhausted crewmembers were roused by the sound of a trumpet playing Reveille. And it wasn't coming from Zoro…

* * *

A/N- I've been rereading One Piece manga. Got back into it, so I decided to continue this storyline. 


	10. The End

**Exposition 10: The End**

**Inspiration**: Another Music Camp

**Main Characters**: All

**Length**: 1,306 words

**Pairings**: None

* * *

Seven heads poked sleepily out of their rooms and proceeded to the deck. With the bodies, mind, not just the heads. 

On the shore stood the entire population of the island. All of them beaming and cheering. The trumpet player was the bartender who stopped playing the instance he saw the seven people gathered on deck.

"Kneel before your vessels of the Gods," he roared.

Like a huge machine, all the people on shore sank into kneeling position.

The expressions of the Straw Hat crew could be captured by one smiley: O-O

The people on shore didn't move.

A tic began growing just above Nami's eye. She screamed, "WHY DID YOU WAKE ME UP FROM MY BEAUTY SLEEP JUST TO KNEEL!!?!??!"

From his position, the bartender's muffled voice said, "Please honor us, this day, with the music given to you by the gods."

Nami's tic, if possible, grew larger.

"It's Sonata island," came a calm voice. Robin had somehow procured a huge book from behind her back. "Once every year, the villagers of Sonata Island choose seven visitors to become the vessels of the Sonata gods. The conditions are: the visitors do not already know how to play the instruments, the visitors must be treated as gods for the duration of the performance, and the visitors will be the sacrifice for the continuation of music on Sonata Island."

Silence.

"Gods?" hearts were pulsating in Sanji's eyes as he glanced around the crowd, searching for those who would worship him.

"Performance?" Zoro raised an eyebrow. "How the hell are we supposed to perform for them if we don't know how to play?"

"S-s-sacrifice?" Usopp's pupils were dilating.

"At dawn of the next day, the gods will come down to the island and possess the visitors. The music that the visitors will then perform will be likened to angels' song. At the end of the performance, the gods will depart, leaving behind seven lifeless ones."

Silence.

"Cool, when are they coming?" Luffy looked around eagerly.

"Like hell. I'm not gonna die for the sake of these fruity bastards' enjoyment," Zoro glared at the visitors.

"You have been chosen. It is a great honor," came the muffled voice from the ground.

"HONOR!?" Nami shrieked, "HOW IS DYING AN HONOR?!?"

"It is said that those possessed will experience certain enlightenment under the hands of the gods," the muffled voice sounded slightly annoyed.

"HOW WOULD YOU KNOW!? THE PEOPLE WHO WOULD KNOW THAT ARE SIX FEET UNDER!?" Nami screamed. "Robin, Robin, find a way to stop this."

"There is no way to stop the celebration once the Chosen Ones have been chosen," Robin read.

"That's it; we're leaving this stupid place. We've got to get as far away from here as possible before dawn. Zoro, Sanji, get to work. We're leaving."

"Namiiiiii, I want to stay. I'm really good at the drums. Do you wanna hear?" Luffy said excitedly.

"No, I want to leave before anything weird comes and tries to take over my body." As Nami spoke, the horizon began to lighten.

The people kneeling on shore bounded up and started cheering. "The gods' time is nearly upon us," the bartender cried, tears in his eyes.

Zoro threw a rock at him. "Stop cheering damnit, stupid chef, get your frying pan, it'll hurt more."

"Like hell I'm going to use my pan on that creep," Sanji yelled, running to get the ship ready for sail.

Seven rays of the sun suddenly touched each of the seven crewmembers.

"I'M GOING TO DIE. I'M GOING TO DIE," Usopp sobbed as he started floating into the air.

Seven instruments drifted up to their respective owners. Seven pairs of eyes went blank. Usopp had stopped crying. And they began to play.

* * *

_What the hell am I doing? _Zoro thought_. Why am I letting some random god take over my body and make me play for a group of random people who would trade my life and my dream for sappy music?_

_I'm never going to cook again. This is stupid. _Sanji thought._ And Nami and Robin. If they die, they'll go to the heaven of beautiful women, where I'm not allowed. How can I let myself be separated from them? _

_The Great Usopp should not be stopped by such an obstacle. The Great Usopp has seen death in the face and punched death in the face. The Great Usopp wouldn't just die; the Great Usopp would throw this goose-horn at those peoples' faces. Then, he would take on all of the gods and save his friends who would build a statue for him and address him as Usopp the Great forever._

_I can't die yet. I can't. I haven't mapped the world yet. At least I should die after I've mapped the world, and not for such an idiotic reason. _Nami thought. _ When I get down, I'm going to kill Luffy for making us stop here just cause we ran out of beef. I'm sure the next island is somewhere close by. We could've just gone there._

_I'm going to miss everybody. I didn't even get to cure all the diseases in the world yet. Dr. Hiruluk, will he be disappointed in me? _Chopper thought.

_What an interesting feeling. What a weak god. I don't think those people realized who they're dealing with. These gods couldn't possibly kill us. _Robin thought. _I wonder if the others have realized they could break free. _

_How come I can't play loud? I wanna play loud. I'm hungry. This is a dumb game. I'm gonna stop playing and make my nakama stop too cause I'm captain and it's breakfast time._

The music stopped. The people on shore started screaming as one by one the pirates dropped down and stood up with murderous looks on their faces.

* * *

The Straw Hat crew sailed away at night. They left behind a bartender with a trumpet mouthpiece stuck in his ear, a skeleton in a coffin with a saxophone forced into its ribcage, a flute lying in the middle of a jewelry shop that looked like a tornado had blown through, and a salesman in the hospital after a piano fell on him.

* * *

"Why the hell do you still have those cursed things?" Zoro asked annoyed. 

Luffy, Chopper, and Usopp had formed their own band and were currently making "music." A combination of bangs and crashes, goose honks, and a sound like fingernails going down a blackboard were coming from a room. Sanji was serving Nami and Robin drinks on deck, Zoro was trying to sleep.

The three noisemakers grinned at each other.

"Let's call ourselves **The Gods of Music and Meat**"

"When I was three years old, I became a concert clarinetist. That's why the gods couldn't take me. I already knew how to play. In fact, I know how to play every instrument, so anything those villagers did would have been futile. I was only playing with the god inside me. I could've ditched him anytime and gone to save you folks. But then, I thought you all could take care of yourselves. You are Captain Usopp's chosen crewmembers after all."

Chopper looked at his violin, "I couldn't find the doctor who gave me this. But that's okay. You can teach me how to play right Usopp?"

Usopp looked around nervously, "Oh, I suppose. I may not have time though, it's tough; I can only give every instrument a small amount of time to get around to all of them you know."

"Oh oh oh, I know. Let's get Zoro and Sanji and Nami and Robin. We can make a band called **The Ones Who Defeated the Gods of Music and Were Given Meat for Free from those Nice People on Shore.**"

Zoro, Sanji, Nami, and Robin walked in at that moment.

Zoro grinned dangerously, "Yeah, that sounds about right."

* * *

A/N- Honestly, I had no idea how to end this story. I began it with the thought that it would come to me. And I thought the idea was interesting. But then… I kind of didn't work on it for more than two years. So it kind of died. I hope it's okay. 


	11. Curses

**Exposition 11: Curses**

**Inspiration**: Hearing my baby brother swear for the first time (okay, so he's no longer a baby.)

**Main Characters**: All

**Length**: 744 words

**Pairings**: None

* * *

The entire ship fell silent. The waves stopped moving. A dark cloud covered the sky. 

Nami asked in a small voice, "What did you just say Luffy?"

Luffy grinned, "Damn."

Chopper whimpered.

"Damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn." Luffy sang to the tune of "Rock a by Baby."

Nami and Chopper stared at each other. Luffy continued to smile. He left the room smiling and closed the door. A muffled shriek was heard, followed by cries of, "WE NEED A DOCTOR. WE NEED A DOCTOR."

* * *

Luffy proceeded to the next room. He calmly opened the door and walked in. Robin looked up from her book. 

"Damn."

Robin blinked.

"Damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn." Luffy sang to the tune "Mary had a little lamb."

An arm sprouted of Robin's shoulder and pinched her other arms. It hurt.

Luffy grinned some more and skipped out of the room.

* * *

He ran into the kitchen and grabbed a handful of cherries, stuffing them in his mouth. He vaguely resembled the raccoon from Pocahontas. Sanji glared. In a level voice, he said, "I was going to use those cherries for Nami-swan and Robin-swan's mid afternoon tea." 

Luffy chewed and swallowed, seeds and stems all. "Damn cherries."

Sanji grew white. "Must get my ears checked, I could have sworn. Is your mouth still full?" Sanji wrenched open Luffy mouth to see disgusting bits of cherry stuck to his teeth, but other than that, complete tongue room to talk coherently.

"I've gotta look into some hearing aids or something. Must be that shit swordsman bellowing in my ear all day long like a pregnant cow."

"Damn cow."

Sanji was sure he didn't mishear. Not only had Luffy insulted meat, he had said the D-word.

"THOSE CHERRIES!!! I knew they were suspicious from the start. That old hag at the market, said she picked them yesterday. Bet she's had them for centuries. I knew I shouldn't have trusted her. Now they've gone and poisoned Luffy. What the hell am I supposed to do? I should brush Luffy's teeth to get rid of cherry evidence and forget this ever happened. What the hell am I supposed to do? The lovely ladies' afternoon tea is going to be late. WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?"

Luffy left, exploring the back of his teeth with his tongue.

* * *

"Once upon a time, the Great Bicyclist Usopp defeated twenty men on motorcycles. No… fifty men on…flying motorcycles. Yeah, that'll do it." Usopp was busy composing Great Usopp stories when Luffy catapulted into him. 

"Oi Luffy, that hurt. But of course, Usopp the Great can take-."

"Damn"

Usopp's immediate reaction was a high-pitched scream which stopped birds in their mid-flight. The scream continued as seagull after seagull flopped into the ocean. And continued as the bird population around the world dropped dramatically. And continued as birdwatchers all over the globe began commenting on the strange pattern of flight the birds seemed to be taking lately… downhill.

* * *

Usopp had gigantic lungs. Luffy grinned and was tempted to join in the game when he spotted another victim lying on the deck completely oblivious to the mayhem inside. He extended a long finger. 

**Poke**

**Poke**

**Poke**

**Poke**

**Poke**

Zoro twitched, "STOP POKING ME DAMNIT!!"

A crash.

"YOU!!! YOU'RE THE ONE TEACHING OUR POOR CAPTAIN THOSE HORRID WORDS!!!" Nami seemed to have recovered. She was standing three feet away from Zoro, holding a frying pan which she had wrestled from the love-drunk Sanji.

Zoro looked annoyed. "What? What the hell did I do? It's that shitty cook who-"

Nami threw the frying pan at his head and ran to cover Luffy's ears.

Zoro removed the pan from his face. The pan could hardly be considered a pan anymore, there was a large Zoro-sized dent in it. Zoro threw it to the side and stalked inside. He returned a moment later with a large, white something in his hand.

"Here, this is what you do instead of throwing damn frying pans at my head."

He turned to Luffy, "Luffy, whenever you say the word "Damn," this is what's going to happen."

He shoved the large, white something into Luffy's mouth. The large, white something turned out to be a chunk of soap.

Luffy fell to the floor and began writhing as Zoro continued his nap.

* * *

The next day, the crewmembers were rudely forced out of sleep by Luffy's yell. 

"SHIT!"

* * *

A/N- Maybe Luffy does swear sometime in the manga. I can't remember. He just seems too innocent and cute to do so. :D Thought I'd experiment with what the crew would do if they heard Luffy. 


	12. Apples

**Exposition 12: Apples**

**Inspiration**: Theme of my daily fanfic group

**Main Characte**r: Nami

**Length**: 176

**Pairings**: None

Nami hates apples.

She hates how vulnerable they are. Millimeters of flimsy skin keep the apple from harm. All the flesh and blood and core exposed with a single flash of a knife. So easy. So vulnerable.

She drops one on the ground and watches it roll slowly to a stop. It's bruised, she knows it. And she knows that if she tosses that bruised apple into a bin of apples, it will spread its contamination to its counterparts. Share the wealth. Share the misery. So pitiful.

She blows on another one and rubs it. She can see her distorted reflection in the bright red surface. She tosses it away, sick of the deformation and the clarity. So shallow and yet so deep.

Nami likes oranges. They're tough. They don't bruise (on the outside). They don't advocate "misery loves company". They don't reflect images that are both ugly and beautiful, false and true.

She takes a bite out of an apple and tosses the rest overboard. "The fall of man, the beginning of man," she murmurs.


	13. Mafia

**Exposition 13: Mafia**

**Inspiration**: Theme from my daily fanfic group

**Main Characters**: All but Franky and Brooke

**Length**: 867

**Pairings**: none

* * *

The Strawhat Crew didn't have much to do on those days when the wind and the waters were calm. Zoro's idea of rowing from onboard the ship to improve muscle endurance was quickly vetoed. Luffy never understood the rules of any board games, instead insisting on jumping from square one to square nineteen all in one move. So the crew would laze around on those days when the wind and the waters were calm.

"Hey Sanji."

"Yes, Nami-swannn???"

"I'm bored."

"Is there anything I can get you my—"

"Let's play a game."

"But Nami-swannn, you know how that usually ends up."

"We can include Luffy but not really include him at the same time."

"I don't understand, Nami—"

"Just go bring everyone onto the deck."

* * *

"Okay. Listen up." Nami whipped out her megaphone and pointed it at Luffy.

"Here's how we play. This game is called mafia. There are two mafia, one sheriff, one doctor, and one god. Everybody else is a townsperson. The god gets to choose who is who. I will be god for the first round, then we can trade off. Basically, you listen to my commands. I will ask each person to wake up and choose a person to kill, accuse, or save. It's pretty simple. If you don't understand, you'll get it as we play more. So everybody close your eyes."

Zoro raised his hand, "Question."

"What?"

"When your mafia, can you kill anybody?"

"Yes."

"K."

"But you don't want to make it too obvious. When I wake everybody up, I will announce who is dead. And then everybody starts to accuse each other. And you all vote on who you think the mafia is. And then the whole thing starts over again. And in the end, if the mafia kill everybody, then the mafia win. And if the townspeople correctly kill the mafia, the townspeople win."

Usopp raised his hand, "Question."

"…what?"

"What happens if you die?"

"You can talk for one round. And then you're gone. Let's get started."

Chopper raised his hand, "Question."

"_what?_"

"What does the doctor do again?"

"When I say, 'Doctor wake up', then the doctor wakes up and chooses someone to save."

"How do I save them?"

"Chopper. It's not necessarily you. And all you have to do is point."

"All I have to do is point?"

"Yes."

"That's… SO COOL!"

"Alright, let's get started."

Sanji raised his hand, "Question."

"NO! Close your eyes. God will start choosing. If I tap your head once, you are mafia. If I tap it twice, you are sheriff. If I tap it three times, you are doctor."

Luffy laughed, "That hurt Nami. Why'd you tap so hard?"

Nami groaned, "Forget everything I did. We're starting over."

Nami finished her circle and returned to her seat, "Alright, let's get started. Mafia wake--"

Luffy opened his eyes, "But you didn't tap me."

Nami's eye twitched, "If I didn't tap you, that means you're townsperson. Okay? I'm not doing that again. Let it be known that Luffy is a townsperson. Everybody go to sleep. Mafia wake up."

Sanji opened his eyes.

"Mafia wake up." Nami stared at Zoro in disbelief, "I think he's actually asleep. MAFIA WAKE UP"

Zoro slowly opened his eyes. He looked around sleepily and saw Sanji looking at him viciously.

Nami sighed, "Who do you want to kill?"

Zoro and Sanji pointed at each other.

"You need to reach a consensus."

They continued to point at each other.

"Mafia, if you don't agree now, you automatically lose."

Zoro and Sanji glared at each other. Then, grudgingly, they pointed at Usopp at the same time.

"Okay. Mafia go to sleep. Sheriff wake up."

Usopp opened his eyes.

"Who do you want to accuse?"

He pointed at Zoro. Nami nodded, "Sheriff go to sleep. Doctor wake up."

"wha? Me? Did you call?"

"Shut up," Nami hissed.

"Oh. Sorry."

Nami sighed, "Who do you want to save?"

Chopper pointed at Zoro.

"Okay, Doctor go to sleep. Town wake up. … Zoro… wake up."

Nami closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "Last night. It was dark and scary and rainy. A man entered a bar."

"Oh hurry up," Zoro groaned.

"Fine. Usopp, you're dead."

"NO! I'm the sheriff, it's Zoro."

Chopper's eyes widened, "It's Zoro? But… I saved him."

"You guys aren't supposed to shout out who you are. Otherwise, the mafia will target you next. Don't you guys know anything."

"Zoro-san and Sanji-san are the mafia. Usopp-san is the sheriff. Chopper-san is the doctor. Luffy and I are townspeople," Robin said with a smile.

"Nooo, Robin… you just ruined it."

"With all due respect, Nami-san, I think the game was ruined quite a long time ago."

"I don't like this game. I didn't do anything but close my eyes. I'm hungry."

"I never want to play with that effing cook ever again. I wish I could have killed him."

"Why did Usopp have to die?"

"Why did I have to die? What do you guys have against me?"

"Nami-swan, I'm sorry some bstard ruined the game for you. Let's play again. I'll be mafia with you."

…

"We are never playing this ever again."


	14. Rainbows

**Exposition 14: Rainbows**

**Inspiration**: Theme of my daily fanfic group

**Main Characte**r: Zoro, Sanji, Usopp, Nami

**Length**: 876 words

**Pairings**: Bromance :D

* * *

"I love you man."

"… what?"

Zoro and Sanji stared at Usopp.

"Who are you talking to?" they said at the same time.

"I dunno, just both of you in general."

Question marks filled the cabin.

"What?" Usopp asked defensively, "I can't say 'I love you man' without weirding anybody out? I really do. You guys are the best. I can't imagine being around any other guys."

"…"

"Hey, come on. You guys are the strongest, manliest guys around. Why are you so afraid of your sexual orientation? Are you guys doubting yourselves?"

Zoro and Sanji bristled.

"Honestly, I think the best way to express your manliness is to show how comfortable you are around other guys. It's really the only way."

"…"

"I'm not saying you guys have to wear pink underwear and shave your legs or anything. But you should at least be able to say 'I love you man'. I mean, at this point in time, I'm manlier than both of you."

"…"

"Well. See you guys later. Remember, I love you both."

Zoro and Sanji were silent, both staring at the ground.

"I'm… gonna get started on lunch. You know, slicing up that shark I caught yesterday."

Zoro coughed, "yah, I got some lifting to do. I'll see you later man."

"See ya dude."

* * *

One hour later.

Sanji put down his knife. He pulled out a chair and sat down heavily. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one. "I love you man. Huh."

Zoro dropped his 100-lb barbell. Drying off his sweat with a towel, he stared up at the sky. "I love you man. Tch."

* * *

Two hours later.

Sanji walked into his dark room and fell onto his bed. He crossed his legs. He uncrossed his legs. Suddenly, he got out of bed and walked to his dresser. He pulled out his razor. He walked back to his bed. And rolled up his pants.

Zoro sat on the deck. He saw Nami come out of her room in a pink bikini. She stretched and walked up the stairs to her orange grove. Zoro got up and walked towards his room. He stared at the door next to his. Slowly, he let go of his doorknob and stepped towards Nami's bedroom.

* * *

Dinnertime.

"There's so much food Sanji."

"Yes, Nami-swan. I thought today's meal should be a particularly hearty one. You have the shark, and the leg of that dinosaur I killed a while back. And this is the tongue of a sea monster, freshly caught. Took me forever to get it today."

"It's delicious. You're such a man, Sanji-kun."

Sanji almost melted into a puddle of goo, but he managed to compose himself just in time. "Yah, you know. That's me. All in a day's work."

Zoro snorted, "Pansy. All you do is prance around in the kitchen with your apron on. How is that manly?"

Sanji kicked Zoro's chair, "Wanna say that again, you prick? Let's take this outside. We'll see who's the man and who's the pansy."

"Sit down Sanji-kun. It's time to eat. How was your day, Zoro?" Nami said sweetly.

"Lifted some weights. Added 25 lbs. About 30 reps. Nothing much."

"That sounds horribly hard."

"It's not."

"I love you guys. You both work so hard for us. I love you man," Usopp said happily.

Zoro and Sanji stiffened.

"Usopp, I have to say. Knives and muscles are all good. But I truly admire a man who can be so open and honest and comfortable."

"What can I say? That's just me through and through."

* * *

11 PM

Sanji tossed around in his bed. His hairless legs felt strange and uncomfortable. Usopp's words echoed around in his head, "You guys don't need to shave your legs or anything. Just be honest and say, 'I love you man'".

Zoro buried his head in his pillow. He tried readjusting his underwear. Usopp's words echoed around in his head, "You guys don't need to wear pink underwear or anything. Just be honest and say, 'I love you man'".

Both of them got up at the same time. They sighed and trudged toward the door. They stepped into the hallway. They looked at each other, closed their eyes, and blurted, "I love you man," before rushing back into their rooms.

* * *

"Did you get that?"

"All of it in its prime and glory."

"Good. Make a couple copies."

Usopp and Nami were hiding in the shadows of the hallway. Usopp was holding a video camera.

"That was the best plan ever."

"I know. I'm really good at this kind of stuff."

"That was great acting on your part."

"And the same to you."

"Never thought they would actually do it."

"Never thought they would go that far."

"Weaklings."

"So insecure."

Chuckling quietly, they retired to their respective rooms.

* * *

The next morning, Sanji and Zoro found a letter and a CD taped to their doors.

"Sanji-kun. I really enjoyed the scene last night. Love, Nami. P.S. You owe me 1000 beri for the shaving cream. You can keep the rest."

"Zoro. I really enjoyed the scene last night. Love, Nami. P.S. You owe me 1000 beri for the underwear. I don't want it back."

Zoro and Sanji's howls filled the morning air.

* * *

A/N- Honestly, I never thought I'd start writing fanfiction again. But then, with a couple friends, we started this 1 fic a day club. We have a starting time, an end time, and a theme. And then we write. And since I love One Piece to death, most of my fics end up following the lives of the strawhat crew. :D I hope you enjoy my plotless drabbles.


	15. A Shot of Espresso

**Exposition 15: A Shot of Espresso**

**Inspiration**: Theme of my daily fanfic group

**Main Characte**r: The girls and Luffy

**Length**: 626 words

**Pairings**: none

* * *

"Hi, welcome to Compotation. What would you like to order?"

"Espresso machiatto, solo."

"Yes ma'am."

"Caffè Americano, tall, two cream, three milk, two sugar, whipped cream. Oh, and a drizzle of caramel."

"Of course ma'am. And you sir?"

Nami looked over at Luffy who was staring open-mouthed at the menu. She elbowed him in the ribs. Her arm bounced back.

"Luffy~" she said sweetly, "order something so I can get my coffee."

"There are so many choices…"

"Nami-san, remember Luffy has ever been to a café."

Nami raised an eyebrow thoughtfully, "What would be good for Luffy…?"

"I've decided. I want what Robin ordered."

"No. It's too hot. You'll burn yourself."

"Maybe he would like the iced espresso truffle."

"Absolutely not, too much caffeine."

"What about the decaf cafe au lait. We can ask for some ice in a separate cup."

"Decaf coffee? No way."

"Nami-san…"

"Excuse me ma'am. This is quite a busy hour. So if you could please step to the side while deciding-"

"I'm not done yet. I'm not waiting in line again. Luffy. Just close your eyes and choose something."

"I want Mint Chocolaty Chip Frappuccino® blended creme with Chocolate Whipped Cream. Venti."

"That will be 1200 beri."

"I didn't approve that. Hang on."

Robin dropped money on the table, "Please keep the change." She dragged Luffy and Nami to the side to wait for their coffees.

"Luffy. Are you sure? Can you finish it? No one is going to finish it for you. Why did you have to pick the most expensive thing? Why didn't you just get the steamed apple juice? I'm sure you would have liked that."

Luffy was staring at the cakes and cookies in the glass container with wide-open eyes.

A vein popped in Nami's head, "that… kid…."

"It's his first time in this kind of shop Nami-san. Let him do what he wants just today."

"Fine."

"Your orders ma'am."

Nami angrily grabbed the tray and stalked over to a table, "Luffy sit down."

Luffy bounced over, followed by Robin.

"For Luffy," Robin said, placing a straw in his drink.

Nami suddenly stood up, "I… said… three… milk…" She stalked over to the counter.

"How do you like your drink Luffy?"

"Haven't tried it yet," Luffy said, happily mashing the whipped cream into his drink.

Nami returned with her milk and a cookie. "I demanded compensation," she said happily, throwing the cookie at Luffy.

Nami watched Luffy out of the corner of her eye, "How is it, Luffy?"

"Haven't tried it yet," Luffy said, vigorously spinning the contents of his cup with his straw.

"Luffy… I think it's okay now."

Luffy tentatively took a sip, "bleh, I don't like it."

Nami's hand squeezed a packet of crème, sending white droplets flying into the air, "what did you say?"

"It's bitter."

"That… is probably the least bitter coffee you will ever have."

"I don't like coffee."

"It's okay Nami-san. Why don't you try a little more Luffy?"

"But it doesn't taste good."

"FINISH IT!" Nami screeched, "I told you not to order a venti. We went through all the trouble to bring you here because you wanted to try coffee. And then you couldn't decide forever, and you made me wait forever to get my drink. And now you're not going to drink it? Drink. It. Now."

Luffy quickly suctioned the cup down, grabbing his forehead as the cold surged to his brain.

"Good boy," Nami said, sitting back calmly.

Luffy began shaking and twitching.

"Nami-san… ummm."

* * *

"I promise. Yes. We won't come back here ever again. Here, money to compensate for the damage. I'm so sorry."

Nami and Robin slowly walked away from the wreckage, dragging Luffy by the collar.

"That was interesting, wasn't it Nami-san?"

* * *

A/N- Compotation- ah the irony. Thanks go to Starbucks.


End file.
